Sick Puppy Films

Test

2008-07-16T22:24:00.001+01:00

Mobile blogging is now a possibility again. Testing out some new apps in iPhone 2.0 to see which ones work best. Typepad have a posh one, but where is Blogger? Soon come, I suppose...

Geolocate this post

Posted with LifeCast

Other views of Cannes

2007-06-02T12:48:00.000+01:00

You've seen what I thought of Cannes.

Here's a bit of perspective from other members of the Cannes Crew.

Enjoy, please, the Cannes experience as told by Graham and Dave from Oaktree, and Paul, Michael and Cop from Pleased Sheep.

And check out their sites via the sidebar.

Then enjoy the photos.

That is all.

Cannes - the return

2007-05-27T22:40:00.000+01:00

We're back. And a mind-mangling mix of weirdness and strange has it been, as you can tell by my inability to sling together a readable and syntaxically-correct sentence. Anyhoo. Get the skinny on what we've been up to over at The Ugly Truth. Further updates and yes, swear-to-God, pix, are a-comin.

Cannes

2007-05-16T21:09:00.000+01:00

The Sick Puppies are in Cannes!
If you're at the Festival this week, pop to the Short Film Corner to check out our film GUNPLAY.

And don't forget to let us know what you think!

The Groovy Age Of Horror

2007-04-23T10:21:00.000+01:00

This is a deeply Sick Puppy read. Endless fun, in a kind of kill-your-day-off way...

A Sick Puppy Site

2007-04-10T14:06:00.000+01:00

We now have a simple site up as a general gateway to the world of the Sick Puppies, with news, links to our short films and contact details. The link on the sidebar will now take you straight there. We'll be expanding on the site through the run-up to Cannes. Any suggestions as to what should be on there?

Straight8 - "The Gourmand" - We've done it!

2007-04-02T16:52:00.000+01:00

Final final audio mix on "The Gourmand" was completed over the weekend on GarageBand and today, Sick Puppy Rob handed in the exposed roll of super8 film together with our sound to the Straight8 organisers. It's in - we've done it!

Also, I've sent in another short I produced and directed ("Gunplay") to the Cannes Film Festival - Short Film Corner. This year, we're aiming to have two of our films screening there!

Thrilling Pics Of Torment and Cuisine

2007-03-29T08:53:00.000+01:00

There's a Flickr set of production stills from "The Gourmand" up now. Have a look, but be warned. There's a lot more flesh on display than you might need to see this early in the morning...
We apologise in advance.

A Tale of Two Films

2007-03-24T13:27:00.000Z

The scripts that didn't get made for the Sick Puppie's excursion into Straight8 land are now up on The Ugly Truth. Check out the hilarity!
In related news, Sick Pup Rob will be slaving over a hot laptop this week to finish the voiceover and sound mix for "The Gourmand". It will be a lonely job. Send him thoughts of a tender and perhaps slightly erotic nature.

The Story of the Sick Puppy Straight8 project - or 'Third Time Lucky!'

2007-03-19T16:39:00.000Z

Rob Wickings is 'The Gourmand'

Me (Clive) doing my best director/D.O.P pose

On Saturday 17th March 2007, after many ups and downs we finally shot our Straight8 film competition entry.

For the full gory details and one picture you might not want to view if you are thinking about eating in the near future...click HERE

Answer to yesterday's Quote Of The Day

2007-03-13T17:16:00.000Z

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Brazil (1985) dir. Terry Gilliam

T.V. Interviewer: "How do you account for the fact that the bombing campaign has been going on for thirteen years?"
Mr. Helpmann: "Beginners' luck."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-03-12T11:35:00.000Z

"How do you account for the fact that the bombing campaign has been going on for thirteen years?"
"Beginners' luck."

[answer tomorrow]

Friday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Robot Jox (1990) dir. Stuart Gordon

Achilles: "You're making my beer curdle."
Alexander: "And you make my drink taste like blood."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-03-09T11:24:00.000Z

"You're making my beer curdle."
"And you make my drink taste like blood."

[answer Monday]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Santa Sangre (1989) dir. Alejandro Jodorowsky

Fenix: "No! I can't! Don't ask me to!"
Concha: "I'm not asking you, I'm ordering...my hands...and my arms...to kill her. Kill her!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-03-08T11:59:00.000Z

"No! I can't! Don't ask me to!"
"I'm not asking you, I'm ordering...my hands...and my arms...to kill her. Kill her!"

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

The Exorcist (1973) dir. William Friedkin

Father Damien Karras: "Well, then let's introduce ourselves. I'm Damien Karras."
Pazuzu: "And I'm the Devil. Now kindly undo these straps."
Father Damien Karras: "If you're the Devil, why not make the straps disappear?"
Pazuzu: "That's much too vulgar a display of power, Karras."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-03-07T16:22:00.000Z

"Well, then let's introduce ourselves. I'm ------ ------."
"And I'm the Devil. Now kindly undo these straps."
"If you're the Devil, why not make the straps disappear?"
"That's much too vulgar a display of power, ------."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Love At First Bite (1979) dir. Stan Dragoti

Count Vladimir Dracula: "Children of the night - shut up!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-03-06T17:03:00.000Z

"Children of the night - shut up!"

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Ghost Rider (2007) dir. Mark Steven Johnson

Ghost Rider: "Your soul has been tainted by the blood of the innocent. Look into my eyes and feel their pain!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-03-05T12:53:00.000Z

"Your soul has been tainted by the blood of the innocent. Look into my eyes and feel their pain!"

[answer tomorrow]

Friday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Darkman II: The Return of Durant (1994) dir. Bradford May

Robert G. Durant: "I knew you'd come after me. All I had to do was dangle the right bait in front of what's left of your nose."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-03-02T16:54:00.000Z

"I knew you'd come after me. All I had to do was dangle the right bait in front of what's left of your nose."

[answer Monday]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Nightbreed (1990) dir. Clive Barker

Narcisse: "Are you going to kill him or not? Only I want his balls, and his eyes...unless you want them."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-03-01T15:13:00.000Z

"Are you going to kill him or not? Only I want his balls, and his eyes...unless you want them."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Things To Come (1936) dir. William Cameron Menzies

Raymond Passworthy: "But...we're such little creatures. Poor humanity's so fragile, so weak. Little...little animals."

Straight8 2007: Join us - become a Sick Puppy!

2007-02-28T16:03:00.000Z

Hi,

Having signed up for this year's straight8 competition - we need help!

the challenge: to shoot a film on a single cartridge of super 8mm film which we can only edit in-camera. Then to hand back the un-developed film to the organisers for processing, together with an original soundtrack.

We, The Sick Puppies are a multi-skilled team of writers/producers/directors/sound designer & composer.

So far, we have a script, a camera and have provisionally cast three of the four main roles. But in order to achieve everything set out in the script, we need people with specific skills who are excited about the challenges of making a straight8 film.

Do you have a love for 1950s Sci-Fi films, especially B-Movies? Are you passionate about rock n roll music, 1950s fashions and dance crazes? Are you interested in the look and design of Soviet Russian propaganda posters and films? Do you want to make new contacts with London based independent filmmakers?

If your answer to any of the above questions was yes, we need people with the following skills to join our Sick Puppy team:

Model Making/Model FX (no CGI, all effects must be done in camera)
Costume Designer
Make-up artist
Wig/Hair Stylist
Dance Choreographer (with experience of 1950s style dancing - jitterbug etc)
Set Designer
Graphic Designer

The deadline for the competition is April 2nd - so all filming will be completed by the end of March. All expenses and materials costs will be covered by us.
If you are interested, please email me at:

primethemovie@hotmail.com

Many Thanks,

Clive Ashenden
Producer/Director
Sick Puppy Films

For more information on straight8, check out their website - http://www.straight8.net/

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-02-28T15:20:00.000Z

"But...we're such little creatures. Poor humanity's so fragile, so weak. Little...little animals."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

The Creeping Flesh (1973) dir. Freddie Francis

James Hildern: "Unfortunately, in the state of society as it exists today, we are not permitted to experiment on human beings. Normal human beings."

Sick Puppies enter Straight8

2007-02-28T10:25:00.000Z

I can now announce that the next Sick Puppy film project will be a short for this year's Straight8 competition. More details to follow soon, including - how you could get involved...

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-02-26T15:11:00.000Z

"Unfortunately, in the state of society as it exists today, we are not permitted to experiment on human beings. Normal human beings."

[answer tomorrow]

Friday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Dead & Buried (1981) dir. Gary Sherman

Dobbs: "You can try to kill me, Dan. But you can't. You can only make me dead."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-02-23T14:49:00.000Z

"You can try to kill me, Dan. But you can't. You can only make me dead."

[answer Monday]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Death Mask (1998) dir. Steve Latshaw

Swamp Lady: "This mask harbors the soul of a vengeful monster!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-02-22T14:06:00.000Z

"This mask harbors the soul of a vengeful monster!"

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

The Atomic Submarine (1959) dir. Spencer Gordon Bennet

Voice of Spaceman: "At last Commander, we meet as your people say... face to face!"
Cmdr. Richard 'Reef' Holloway: "That's a face?"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-02-21T16:33:00.000Z

"At last Commander, we meet as your people say... face to face!"
"That's a face?"

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

The Masque Of The Red Death (1964) dir. Roger Corman

Prospero: "The way is not easy, I know, but I will take you by the hand and lead you through the cruel light into the velvet darkness."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-02-20T20:40:00.000Z

"The way is not easy, I know, but I will take you by the hand and lead you through the cruel light into the velvet darkness."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

La Maschera Del Demonio [aka. Black Sunday/Mask Of The Demon] (1960) dir. Mario Bava

Princess Asa Vajda: "You, too, can feel the joy and happiness of hating."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-02-19T13:42:00.000Z

"You, too, can feel the joy and happiness of hating."

[answer tomorrow]

Friday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Hellboy (2004) dir. Guillermo del Toro

Abe Sapien: "If there's trouble, all us freaks have is each other."

More Horror Than You Can Shake A Gore-streaked Stick At!

2007-02-18T15:40:00.000Z

Lots of public domain horror can be found here!
Well worth a look, as long as your cheese filter is set to "tolerant"...
However, they missed one out that should be required viewing for any Sick Puppy...

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-02-16T12:16:00.000Z

"If there's trouble, all us freaks have is each other."

[answer Monday]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Innocent Blood (1992) dir. John Landis

Marie: "I take lives."
Joe: "Ya well, if you were perfect you wouldn't still be single."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-02-15T13:30:00.000Z

"I take lives."
"Ya well, if you were perfect you wouldn't still be single."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Wizards (1977) dir. Ralph Bakshi

Avatar: "I'm too old for this sort of thing. Just wake me up when the planet's destroyed."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-02-14T18:35:00.000Z

"I'm too old for this sort of thing. Just wake me up when the planet's destroyed."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Death Race 2000 (1975) dir. Paul Bartel

Junior Bruce: "Well America, there you have it, Frankenstein has just been attacked by the French Air Force and he's whipped their derrieres!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-02-13T12:11:00.000Z

"Well America, there you have it, Frankenstein has just been attacked by the French Air Force and he's whipped their derrieres!"

[answer tomorrow]

Friday's Quote Of The Day was from:

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984) dir. W.D. Richter

Lord John Whorfin: "Sealed with a curse as sharp as a knife. Doomed is your soul and damned is your life."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-02-09T18:16:00.000Z

"Sealed with a curse as sharp as a knife. Doomed is your soul and damned is your life."

[answer Tuesday]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Screamers (1995) dir. Christian Duguay

Jessica: "We can laugh, we can cry. We can bleed...we can f*ck."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-02-08T17:22:00.000Z

"We can laugh, we can cry. We can bleed...we can f*ck."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Blade Runner (1982) dir. Ridley Scott

Roy Batty: "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-02-07T15:27:00.000Z

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

The Monster Squad (1987) dir. Fred Dekker

Eugene: "Creature stole my twinkie!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-02-06T19:55:00.000Z

"Creature stole my twinkie!"

[answer tomorrow]

Friday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Child's Play (1988) dir. Tom Holland

Chucky: "We're friends 'til the end, remember?"
Andy: "This is the end, friend."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-02-02T13:01:00.000Z

"We're friends 'til the end, remember?"
"This is the end, friend."

[answer Tuesday]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Night Of The Lepus (1972) dir. William F. Claxton

Officer Lopez: "Attention! Attention! Ladies and gentlemen, attention! There is a herd of killer rabbits headed this way and we desperately need your help!"

Sick Puppy Tales (see what we did there?)

2007-02-01T14:33:00.000Z

Mmmmm...reading goodness.

To celebrate National Storytelling Week, Sick Puppy Rob (that's his glowing visage above) has been publishing some stories on his blog. So why not check out:

The Ugly Truth

For short stories and other mind nourishing (and warping) treats...

Update: Robbie Williams Competition Results

2007-02-01T14:30:00.000Z

They have announced the results of the Robbie Williams/Shooting People Competition and... drumroll... we didn't win anything! Ah well, thanks again to everyone who worked on, helped out on or just voted for:

"The 80s: A Sick Puppy Film". Cheers.

The audience award was won by: "12,50 Pounds" - so congratulations to Nahuel Lerena, Pato Byrne & Paula Alvarez Vaccaro.

They are still waiting for the judges to choose a winner of the judges award, but they have now published a shortlist of ten films they will choose from. We didn't make the shortlist (no indication of who actually chose the shortlisted films) - but if you are curious you can watch the shortlisted films on the competition website:

http://www.robbiewilliams.com/rudeboxshorts/

Right - time for the next cinematic adventure to begin! More news on that later...

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-02-01T14:24:00.000Z

"Attention! Attention! Ladies and gentlemen, attention! There is a herd of killer rabbits headed this way and we desperately need your help!"

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Koroshiya 1 [aka. Ichi The Killer] (2001) dir. Takashi Miike

Kakihara: "Listen, when you're giving pain to someone, don't think about the pain that person is feeling. Just concentrate on how good it feels to be causing someone pain. That's the best thing you can do for a true masochist!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-31T18:04:00.000Z

"Listen, when you're giving pain to someone, don't think about the pain that person is feeling. Just concentrate on how good it feels to be causing someone pain. That's the best thing you can do for a true masochist!"

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Critters 2: The Main Course (1988) dir. Mick Garris

Harv: "What is this bullsh*t? Them man-eating dust mops got us roped up tighter than a blue-ribbon bull and all you folks can do is stand here and play kick-the-can with some punk kid!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-30T17:56:00.000Z

"What is this bullsh*t? Them man-eating dust mops got us roped up tighter than a blue-ribbon bull and all you folks can do is stand here and play kick-the-can with some punk kid!"

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Grizzly (1976) dir. William Girdler & David Sheldon

Don Stober: "If ya feel a wet snout in ya face, whatever you do, don't move. And don't kiss it back 'cause it ain't me."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-29T17:48:00.000Z

"If ya feel a wet snout in ya face, whatever you do, don't move. And don't kiss it back 'cause it ain't me."

[answer tomorrow]

Friday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Bigfoot (1970) dir. Robert F. Slatzer

Joi Landis: "They're practically sub-human, except that they still live like animals!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-26T17:31:00.000Z

"They're practically sub-human, except that they still live like animals!"

[answer Monday]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Cat People (1942) dir. Jacques Tourneur

Oliver 'Ollie' Reed: "You cold?"
Alice Moore: "A cat just walked over my grave."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-25T11:23:00.000Z

"You cold?"
"A cat just walked over my grave."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Nosferatu: Phantom Der Nacht (1979) dir. Werner Herzog

Warden: "The patient that came in yesterday is having a fit."
Van Helsing: "Which one?"
Warden: "The one that bit the cow."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-24T15:29:00.000Z

"The patient that came in yesterday is having a fit."
"Which one?"
"The one that bit the cow."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Horror Express (1973) dir. Eugenio Martin

Dr. Wells: "Are you telling me that an ape that lived two million years ago got out of that crate, killed the baggage man and put him in there, then locked everything up neat and tidy, and got away?"
Professor Saxton: "YES I AM! It's alive, it must be!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-23T15:17:00.000Z

"Are you telling me that an ape that lived two million years ago got out of that crate, killed the baggage man and put him in there, then locked everything up neat and tidy, and got away?"
"YES I AM! It's alive, it must be!"

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Hard Candy (2005) dir. David Slade

Hayley Stark: "Well if Denise was here right now, what would you say?"
Jeff Kohlver: "I'd say, 'Help...a teenager cut my balls off. Call the police.'"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-22T14:59:00.000Z

"Well if Denise was here right now, what would you say?"
"I'd say, 'Help...a teenager cut my balls off. Call the police.'"

[answer tomorrow]

Friday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Le Locataire [aka. The Tenant] (1976) dir. Roman Polanski

Trelkovsky: "If you cut off my head, what would I say...Me and my head, or me and my body? What right has my head to call itself me?"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-19T17:48:00.000Z

"If you cut off my head, what would I say...Me and my head, or me and my body? What right has my head to call itself me?"

[answer Monday]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

The Comedy Of Terrors (1964) dir. Jacques Tourneur

Amos Hinchley: "And so, my friends, we find ourselves gathered around the bier of Mrs...er...Mr... you know whom! This litter of sorrow, this cairn, this cromlech, this dread dochma, this gart, this mastaba, this sorrowing tope, this unhappy tumulus, this...this...what is the word? This...er, coffin! Never could think of that word."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-18T18:26:00.000Z

"And so, my friends, we find ourselves gathered around the bier of Mrs...er...Mr... you know whom! This litter of sorrow, this cairn, this cromlech, this dread dochma, this gart, this mastaba, this sorrowing tope, this unhappy tumulus, this...this...what is the word? This...er, coffin! Never could think of that word."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Witchfinder General (1968) dir. Michael Reeves

Matthew Hopkins: "They swim...the mark of Satan is upon them. They must hang."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-17T14:06:00.000Z

"They swim...the mark of Satan is upon them. They must hang."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Island Of Terror (1966) dir. Terence Fisher

Constable John Harris: "There was no face. Just a horrible mush with the eyes sittin' in it."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-16T17:06:00.000Z

"There was no face. Just a horrible mush with the eyes sittin' in it."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

The Lost Boys (1987) dir. Joel Schumacher

Alan Frog: "Aaaaaah! Flies!"
Edgar Frog: "We're on the right trail. Flies and the undead go together like bullets and guns. Come on."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-15T16:54:00.000Z

"Aaaaaah! Flies!"
"We're on the right trail. Flies and the undead go together like bullets and guns. Come on."

[answer tomorrow]

Friday's Quote Of The Day was from:

The Stuff (1985) dir. Larry Cohen

Colonel Malcolm Grommett Spears: "The yellow sons of bitches, they took their own lives. Commie bastards. You cheated me!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-12T15:50:00.000Z

"The yellow sons of bitches, they took their own lives. Commie bastards. You cheated me!"

[answer Monday]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Deep Rising (1998) dir. Stephen Sommers

Canton: "The Ottoia are very crafty. They hide in burrows, catch their victims with spiny tentacles, then they crush them between massive jaws."
Trillian St. James: "Then they eat you, right?"
Canton: "No, they drink you. They drink you alive. Sucking all the fluids out of the body before excreting the skeletal remains."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-11T14:26:00.000Z

"The Ottoia are very crafty. They hide in burrows, catch their victims with spiny tentacles, then they crush them between massive jaws."
"Then they eat you, right?"
"No, they drink you. They drink you alive. Sucking all the fluids out of the body before excreting the skeletal remains."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

The Gingerdead Man (2005) dir. Charles Band

Lorna Dean: "Daddy, you have got to come and get me, I'm at Betty's Bakery and we got homicidal baked goods after us."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-10T14:28:00.000Z

"Daddy, you have got to come and get me, I'm at Betty's Bakery and we got homicidal baked goods after us."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame (1939) dir. William Dieterle

Quasimodo: "I'm about as shapeless as the man in the moon!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-09T13:24:00.000Z

"I'm about as shapeless as the man in the moon!"

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Dead And Breakfast (2004) dir. Matthew Leutwyler

David: "Had I known it was going to feel this good to bash your brains in I would have done it a long time ago."

"Snatching Time" - Watch it now!

2007-01-08T16:33:00.000Z

Yes, it was shown at the Cannes Film Festival last year, and screened at the Zone Horror Frightfest 2006 . Now, you can watch this, the Director's Cut of "Snatching Time" in the comfort of your own home, thanks to YouTube.

"Snatching Time" is a short Horror/Comedy film - produced, directed, co-written (with Rob Wickings) & edited by Clive Ashenden ("Gunplay"; "The '80s: A Sick Puppy Film") of Sick Puppy Films Ltd.

The Story:

A psychopath forces two victims to compete against each other in his own private gameshow. The loser receives a gruesome death, but what does the winner get? Who will survive - and who or what is Anthea?

The Cast:

Laura Metcalfe – Laura is an accomplished actress, having worked in the theatre and has recently completed work on Patrick Malone's sci-fi short “8%”. Laura also works as a Post Production Producer for M2.

Scott Hinds – a black-belt in numerous marshal arts, Scott started as a stunt performer before moving into acting. His most recent film credits are “Star Wars Episode III – The Revenge Of The Sith”, “Batman Begins” and the short film “Innocent Victim”.

Hugo Myatt – a veteran theatre actor, Hugo received rave notices for his role as in Dr. Frank Bryant in Willy Russell’s “Educating Rita”. His most recent film credit was in Bernard Rose's "Snuff-Movie". He is best known in the UK for his role as Treguard the Dungeonmaster in the long-running cult children’s TV series “Knightmare”.

And keep an eye out for special cameos from Sick Puppies Clive Ashenden and Rob Wickings.

Production History:

"Snatching Time" was originally produced as a competition entry for the Halloween 48 hour film challenge 2005 - where it was short listed as one of the top twenty films. The film was then subsequently re-edited, re-scored and re-mixed, with extra material added to create: "Snatching Time - The Director's Cut". The Director's Cut was accepted into the Cannes Film Festival 2006 and was showcased in the Cannes Short Film Corner. "Snatching Time" was also screened at the Zone Horror Frightfest 2006, to enthusiastic audience reaction.

Find Out More:

See pictures: pics1, pics2, pics3

Read about the making of "Snatching Time": Diaries pt.1, Diaries pt.2

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-08T16:20:00.000Z

"Had I known it was going to feel this good to bash your brains in I would have done it a long time ago."

[answer tomorrow]

Friday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Dead Ringers (1988) dir. David Cronenberg

Elliot Mantle: "I've often thought that there should be beauty contests for the insides of bodies."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-05T16:12:00.000Z

"I've often thought that there should be beauty contests for the insides of bodies."

[answer Monday]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Terror Firmer (1999) dir. Lloyd Kaufman

Audrey Benjamin: "You killed my daddy, you maniacal, media-manipulated, homicidal, hermaphrodite freak of nature!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-04T11:33:00.000Z

"You killed my daddy, you maniacal, media-manipulated, homicidal, hermaphrodite freak of nature!"

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Waxwork II: Lost In Time (1992) dir. Anthony Hickox

Scarabis: "Before I kill you, tell me; from where does such reckless impetuosity originate?"
Sarah Brightman: "America!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-03T11:26:00.000Z

"Before I kill you, tell me; from where does such reckless impetuosity originate?"
"America!"

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Waxwork (1988) dir. Anthony Hickox

China: "Can't a girl get laid around here without being burned at the stake?"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2007-01-02T15:40:00.000Z

"Can't a girl get laid around here without being burned at the stake?"

[answer tomorrow]

Friday's Quote Of The Day was from:

The Swarm (1978) dir. Irwin Allen

Brad Crane: "General, if you use that, nothing will grow out there for the next ten years!"
General Slater: "Why worry about shaving when somebody's going to cut your head off?"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-12-29T18:27:00.000Z

"General, if you use that, nothing will grow out there for the next ten years!"
"Why worry about shaving when somebody's going to cut your head off?"

[answer Tuesday]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

The Ghost Breakers (1940) dir. George Marshall

Larry Lawrence: "He sees the darkside of everything, he was born during an eclipse."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-12-28T18:09:00.000Z

"He sees the darkside of everything, he was born during an eclipse."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Mimic (1997) dir. Guillermo del Toro

Josh: "This is what I love about my job. I get to travel, see the world, meet new cultures. I mean, it's all bacterial, but, hey, what the f*ck?"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-12-27T18:28:00.000Z

"This is what I love about my job. I get to travel, see the world, meet new cultures. I mean, it's all bacterial, but, hey, what the f*ck?"

[answer tomorrow]

Friday's Xmas Quote Of The Day was from:

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) dir. Charles E. Sellier Jr.

Billy Chapman: "Mommy, you shouldn't have said that. It's naughty to say bad things about old people. Santa Claus will punish you!"

Sick Puppy's Xmas Quote Of The Day

2006-12-22T14:51:00.000Z

"Mommy, you shouldn't have said that. It's naughty to say bad things about old people. Santa Claus will punish you!"

[answer Wednesday]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Empire Of The Ants (1977) dir. Bert I. Gordon

Marilyn Fryser: "I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-12-21T12:56:00.000Z

"I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Final Destination 2 (2003) dir. David R. Ellis

Kimberley Corman: "If Clear was right, that means Nora and Tim are going to be killed by pigeons!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-12-20T12:43:00.000Z

"If Clear was right, that means Nora and Tim are going to be killed by pigeons!"

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Black Christmas (2006) dir. Glen Morgan

Dana Mathis: "I'd like to bury the hatchet with my sister... right in her head."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-12-19T12:21:00.000Z

"I'd like to bury the hatchet with my sister... right in her head."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

The Ninth Configuration (1980) dir. William Peter Blatty

Captain Cutshaw: "The man in the moon tried to f*ck my sister!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-12-18T01:01:00.000Z

"The man in the moon tried to f*ck my sister!"

[answer tomorrow]

Friday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Dungeons & Dragons (2000) dir. Courtney Solomon

Elwood Gutworthy: "She's too skinny lad! What you need is a good dwarven woman...with a beard you CAN HANG ON TOO! AHAHAH!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-12-15T00:49:00.000Z

"She's too skinny lad! What you need is a good dwarven woman...with a beard you CAN HANG ON TOO! AHAHAH!"

[answer Monday]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

House Of The Dead (2003) dir. Uwe Boll

Rudy: "You did all this to become immortal. Why?"
Castillo: "To live forever!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-12-14T23:34:00.000Z

"You did all this to become immortal. Why?"
"To live forever!"

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Sick Puppy Rob's Birthday Quote Of The Day was from:

Dracula 3000 (2004) [TV] dir. Darrell Roodt (and featuring a credit for the birthday boy Rob as 'Digital Negative Timer')

187: "Did I ever tell you how many times I'd see you and want to ejaculate all over your bazonkas? All the times I stayed up late, high as a kite, in the non-gravitational atmosphere, while I stroked my anaconda, and dreamed about your snow-white ass..."

Sick Puppy Rob's Birthday Quote Of The Day

2006-12-13T21:20:00.000Z

"Did I ever tell you how many times I'd see you and want to ejaculate all over your bazonkas? All the times I stayed up late, high as a kite, in the non-gravitational atmosphere, while I stroked my anaconda, and dreamed about your snow-white ass..."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Battle Beyond The Stars (1980) dir. Jimmy T. Murakami

Sador: "Hear me, beings of Akir. I am Sador of the Malmori. I have come with my forces to conquer you. If you resist, I will crush you. I possess a stellar converter, the most powerful weapon in the universe. You cannot resist me. I want your planet to be my colony. Your harvest comes in seven risings of your red giant. I shall return then, and you will accept me as your master. If you do not submit, your planet and all life on it will be burned to ash...YOU ARE MINE!"

Happy 40th Birthday to Sick Puppy Rob!

2006-12-13T20:49:00.000Z

Mr. Rob Wickings

Happy Birthday Sick Puppy Rob!*** Glad to see you're taking it well.

***Update: Since first posting this item, there have been unconfirmed reports that upon reaching the milestone of his 40th birthday, Rob has plunged headlong into a full-blown midlife crisis...unfortunately, Rob was not available to comment on these reports as he was too busy getting his nipples pierced, dyeing his new mohican hairstyle green and buying a Harley-Davidson motorbike... ;-)

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-12-12T19:21:00.000Z

"Hear me, beings of Akir. I am Sador of the Malmori. I have come with my forces to conquer you. If you resist, I will crush you. I possess a stellar converter, the most powerful weapon in the universe. You cannot resist me. I want your planet to be my colony. Your harvest comes in seven risings of your red giant. I shall return then, and you will accept me as your master. If you do not submit, your planet and all life on it will be burned to ash...YOU ARE MINE!"

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Rosemary's Baby (1968) dir. Roman Polanski

Rosemary Woodhouse: "You... you had me while I was out?"
Guy Woodhouse: "It was kinda fun in a necrophile sort of way"

Sick Pics from the weekend...

2006-12-11T22:41:00.000Z

On the occasion of filmmaker & Sick Puppy friend Nick Scott's 30th birthday, I put on my best lounging suit and cravat and set forth with Sick Puppy Graham & Ester in a 1960s catalogue stylee to boogie and drink cocktails...who would survive and what would be left of them?*

*Thanks to the lovely Fiona for the extra pics...

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-12-11T17:45:00.000Z

"You... you had me while I was out?"
"It was kinda fun in a necrophile sort of way"

[answer tomorrow]

Friday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth (1992) dir. Anthony Hickox

The Priest: "You'll burn in hell for this!"
Pinhead: "Burn? Oh, such a limited imagination!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-12-08T00:52:00.000Z

"You'll burn in hell for this!"
"Burn? Oh, such a limited imagination!"

[answer Monday]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Dune (1984) dir. David Lynch

Paul Atreides: "What's in the box?"
Reverend Mother Mohiam: "Pain."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-12-07T23:42:00.000Z

"What's in the box?"
"Pain."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Videodrome (1983) dir. David Cronenberg

Brian O'Blivion: "I believe that the growth in my head - this head - this one right here. I think that it is not really a tumor...not an uncontrolled, undirected little bubbling pot of flesh...but that it is in fact a new organ... a new part of the brain."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-12-06T19:54:00.000Z

"I believe that the growth in my head - this head - this one right here. I think that it is not really a tumor...not an uncontrolled, undirected little bubbling pot of flesh...but that it is in fact a new organ... a new part of the brain."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

I Was A Teenage Frankenstein (1957) dir. Herbert L. Strock

Prof. Frankenstein: "Speak. I know you have a civil tongue in your head because I sewed it back myself."

Last Chance to Vote for our music video: "THE 80S: A Sick Puppy Film"

2006-12-05T15:36:00.000Z

The online voting part of the Shooting People/Robbie Williams competition closes on Monday December 11th - So if you haven't already watched or voted for our latest film - this is your last chance!

Starring Ashvin-Kumar Joshi and Laura Metcalfe, with Camerawork from Simon Aitken & Graham (no relation to Robbie) Williams, Make up from Ania Gastol, Colour grading by Rob Wickings, Produced by myself and Stephen Cartwright, and Edited and Directed by yours truly.

Entitled - "THE 80S: A Sick Puppy Film" - the completed 5 min 33 second music video can now be viewed online, and IF YOU ARE A http://www.shootingpeople.org/ member YOU CAN VOTE FOR IT.

To view the film:
1) Go to this website address - www.robbiewilliams.com/rudeboxshorts
2) Then from the sidebar choose the "Watch videos and vote" option.
3) Scroll down the list of films until you find - "THE 80S: A Sick Puppy Film".
4) Select the film, and once it's loaded - enjoy!

To VOTE FOR THE FILM:
Sadly, only Shooting People members can vote for my film. You can join by going to the website - http://www.shootingpeople.org/ - but it costs £30! (Although if you are a filmmaker, scriptwriter or actor, I think it's worth the dosh). If you are a member, you need to do the following:
1) Go to the Shooting People website - http://www.shootingpeople.org/
2) Login.
3) You should see a graphic advertising the Robbie Williams competition. Click on 'find out more'.
4) Then from the sidebar choose the 'Watch videos and vote' option.
5) Scroll down the list of films until you find - "THE 80S: A Sick Puppy Film".
6) Select the film, and once it's loaded - enjoy!
7) Then - please vote! You need to give the film a rating between 1 and 5 (5 being the best).

I hope you enjoy the film. Please vote if you are able...

Many Thanks,

Sick Puppy Clive

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-12-05T14:51:00.000Z

"Speak. I know you have a civil tongue in your head because I sewed it back myself."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Flesh + Blood (1985) dir. Paul Verhoeven

Steven: "My Father's half-dead. My bride has been captured. And you're babbling on about seedlings?"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-12-04T15:50:00.000Z

"My Father's half-dead. My bride has been captured. And you're babbling on about seedlings? "

[answer tomorrow]

Friday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Fright Night (1985) dir. Tom Holland

Evil Ed: "He got me, Charley! He bit me! You know what you're gonna have to do now, don't you? Kill me. Kill me, Charley...before I turn into a vampire, and...GIVE YOU A HICKEY!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-12-01T00:48:00.000Z

"He got me, Charley! He bit me! You know what you're gonna have to do now, don't you? Kill me. Kill me, Charley...before I turn into a vampire, and...GIVE YOU A HICKEY!"

[answer Monday]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

The Legend Of Hell House (1973) dir. John Hough

Ann Barrett: "What did he do to make this house so evil, Mr. Fischer?"
Benjamin Franklin Fischer: "Drug addiction, alcoholism, sadism, beastiality, mutilation, murder, vampirism, necrophilia, cannibalism, not to mention a gamut of sexual goodies. Shall I go on?"

A Sick Puppy Book?

2006-11-30T12:08:00.000Z

As part of the National Novel Writing Month, Sick Puppy Rob has pulled on his writing trousers (loose at the knees, padded bottom, fluid retention system for those times when you really can't pull yourself away from the keyboard) and hammered out 50,000 words of a book based on one of his script pitches.
Satan's School For Girls (yes, yes, I know) is a twisted mix of genres crashing together in new and ugly ways. I've taken themes as different as the St. Trinian's films, the girl's comic Misty and the nunsploitation (NSFW link) work of directors such as Jess Franco and Walerian Borowczyk to create a heady brew of horror and weirdness in the far northern reaches of Scotland.
The first draft should be completed by the end of next week, with a polish soon after. The final product should be ready for the new year. Who knows, the first imprint of the Sick Puppy Press?
Read an extract here.

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-11-30T12:00:00.000Z

"What did he do to make this house so evil, Mr. Fischer?"
"Drug addiction, alcoholism, sadism, beastiality, mutilation, murder, vampirism, necrophilia, cannibalism, not to mention a gamut of sexual goodies. Shall I go on?"

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

The Night Of The Hunter (1955) dir. Charles Laughton

Rev. Harry Powell: "There are things you do hate, Lord. Perfume-smellin' things...lacy things...things with curly hair."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-11-29T21:20:00.000Z

"There are things you do hate, Lord. Perfume-smellin' things...lacy things...things with curly hair."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Martin (1977) dir. George A. Romero

Tada Cuda: "Nosferatu. Vampire! First I will save your soul, then I will destroy you. I will show you your room."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-11-28T14:38:00.000Z

"Nosferatu. Vampire! First I will save your soul, then I will destroy you. I will show you your room."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Road Kill [aka. Joy Ride] (2001) dir. John Dahl

Rusty Nail: "Now they know what it feels like...to be the butt-end of the joke. Your palms sweating, your face burning up. Now they know what it's like...to be the f**king punch line."

I'm sorry...the Sick Puppy Films website is currently unavailable...please leave your message after the beep. BEEP!

2006-11-27T17:45:00.000Z

Thanks to all those friends who kindly pointed out that our website is down. I think I know what the problem is - hopefully we can sort it out and be back online very shortly.

In the meantime, stay tuned to this blog for all the latest Sick Puppy news...

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-11-27T17:33:00.000Z

"Now they know what it feels like...to be the butt-end of the joke. Your palms sweating, your face burning up. Now they know what it's like...to be the f**king punch line."

[answer tomorrow]

Friday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Society (1989) dir. Brian Yuzna

Bill Whitney: "We're just one big happy family...except for a little incest and psychosis."

Watch and VOTE for our film! "THE 80S: A Sick Puppy Film" is now ONLINE!

2006-11-24T23:00:00.000Z

Ashvin-Kumar Joshi in "THE 80S: Sick Puppy Film"

The waiting is over, everyone can now watch our Robbie Williams music video online (and if you are a Shooting People member you can vote too). For those of you who have not been following recent blog entries, here's the lowdown:

I have recently completed my latest film project - a music video for Robbie Williams. Well, to be completely accurate, a music video for the current Robbie Williams/Shooting People competition. The brief was to download an specific ("The 80s") from his new album "Rudebox" and create a short film or music video using some or all of the track. There are two prizes for the competition: the first is awarded by judges including Robbie Williams, Jonathan Ross and Lord Puttnam, the second IS VOTED FOR ONLINE BY YOU!

Starring Ashvin-Kumar Joshi and Laura Metcalfe, with Camerawork from Simon Aitken & Graham (no relation to Robbie) Williams, Make up from Ania Gastol, Colour grading by Rob Wickings, Produced by myself and Stephen Cartwright, and Edited and Directed by yours truly.
Entitled - "THE 80S: A Sick Puppy Film" - the completed 5 min 33 second music video can now be viewed online, and IF YOU ARE A www.shootingpeople.org member YOU CAN VOTE FOR IT.

To view the film:

1) Go to this website address - www.robbiewilliams.com/rudeboxshorts

2) Then from the sidebar choose the "Watch videos and vote" option.

3) Scroll down the list of films until you find - "THE 80S: A Sick Puppy Film".

4) Select the film, and once it's loaded - enjoy!

To VOTE FOR THE FILM:

Sadly, only Shooting People members can vote for my film. You can join by going to the website - www.shootingpeople.org - but it costs £30! (Although if you are a filmmaker, scriptwriter or actor, I think it's worth the dosh). If you are a member, you need to do the following:

1) Go to the Shooting People website - www.shootingpeople.org

2) Login.

3) You should see a graphic advertising the Robbie Williams competition. Click on 'find out more'.

4) Then from the sidebar choose the 'Watch videos and vote' option.

5) Scroll down the list of films until you find - "THE 80S: A Sick Puppy Film".

6) Select the film, and once it's loaded - enjoy!

7) Then - please vote! You need to give the film a rating between 1 and 5 (5 being the best).

I hope you enjoy the film. I think even the most extreme of Robbie Williams haters will get a chuckle out of it. Please vote if you are able...

Many Thanks,

Sick Puppy Clive

PS. The more eagle-eyed/technically astute will notice that the film is not being presented in the correct aspect ratio. It was shot 16:9 and is being presented anamorphic (stretched) in a 4:3 box. I have contacted Shooting People and hopefully a corrected letterbox version will be uploaded soon. In the meantime, please pretend it's deliberate 'special effect'. ;-)

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-11-24T00:08:00.000Z

"We're just one big happy family...except for a little incest and psychosis."

[answer Monday]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Mad Max 2 [aka. The Road Warrior] (1981) dir. George Miller

Toadie: "Greetings from The Humungus! The Lord Humungus! The Warrior of the Wasteland! The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla!"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-11-23T23:56:00.001Z

"Greetings from The Humungus! The Lord Humungus! The Warrior of the Wasteland! The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla!"

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Alien (1979) dir. Ridley Scott

Ash: "You still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? Perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility."
Lambert: "You admire it."
Ash: "I admire its purity. A survivor...unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality."

The Waiting Game...

2006-11-23T23:48:00.000Z

Those lovely folks at Shooting People have had a DVD copy of our completed Robbie Williams competition music video "THE 80S: A Sick Puppy Film" for a week now, and it's still not online. I chased them earlier this week and was promised it would be uploaded Tuesday. It's Thursday night and still nothing online. I have sent them another email - hopefully nothing's wrong.

Fingers crossed, touch wood, it'll be online before the weekend. Here's hoping...

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-11-22T21:21:00.000Z

"You still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? Perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility."
"You admire it."
"I admire its purity. A survivor...unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality."

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

The Mothman Prophecies (2002) dir. Mark Pellington

John Klein: "I think we can assume that these entities are more advanced than us. Why don't they just come right out and tell us what's on their minds?"
Alexander Leek: "You're more advanced than a cockroach, have you ever tried explaining yourself to one of them?"

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-11-21T14:44:00.000Z

"I think we can assume that these entities are more advanced than us. Why don't they just come right out and tell us what's on their minds?"
"You're more advanced than a cockroach, have you ever tried explaining yourself to one of them?"

[answer tomorrow]

Yesterday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Kingu Kongu Tai Gojira [aka. King Kong vs. Godzilla] (1962) dir. Ishirô Honda

Kinsaburo Furue: "My corns always hurt when they're near a monster."

Sick Puppy's Quote Of The Day

2006-11-20T18:15:00.000Z

"My corns always hurt when they're near a monster."

[answer tomorrow]

Friday's Quote Of The Day was from:

Serenity (2005) dir. Joss Whedon

Wash: "This landing is gonna get pretty interesting."
Mal: "Define 'interesting'."
Wash: "Oh God, oh God, we're all going to die?"

"The 80s" - Robbie video making of pics #2

2006-11-17T19:04:00.000Z

Ashvin-Kumar Joshi in his pre-transformation guise - as a businessman.

Ashvin in full 80s costume - awaiting final make up

A very fatigued cast & crew after the shoot was completed (from l-r: Ania Gastol, Laura Metcalfe, Simon Aitken, Graham Williams, Me, Ashvin-Kumar Joshi)

I give Laura some final directions before we shoot her scene.

I look on as Laura assumes her 'statue pose'